One of the worst days in a long time

An exceptionally frustrating day today.
I got in an accident on my way to work, some dude hit me from behind.
After work, I started sarging, and just got back. That's about 2.5 decent hours of sarging.
Stats:
Approaches: .5
Girls that I regret not talking to: Countless

I really really wanted to push myself, once I noticed I wasn't opening sets. I started taking things really personally, and started getting very upset with myself. I became more and more emotionally overwhelmed by the situation (the situation being that I'll never push myself and thus never get good), which conveniently made me too overwhelmed to actually handle the problem and start talking to women.

I got really really down on myself, feeling like I'll never get good at this, because I never can push myself, and I can never make myself do minimum game.

Then I started having bad thoughts, like I thought about how EVEN IF I roll up with a great state, relaxed and normal, wearing one of my nicest outfits, and being super friendly/talkative/playful, I still won't be able to land a HB 10.

I thought about how deep down, I'm a lonely person, and have been throughout my whole life. This is kind of true, and I don't think it's some rationalization of mine. Growing up, I was alone in many ways. My mom scheduled all the friends into my life when I was young, and I remember enjoying doing it, but I also remember spending a lot of time alone, and feeling alone. When we went camping, I would wander off on my own for hours. I liked to spend time alone, thinking. In high school, I was miserable and alone, with only a few friends that I had made out of complete mutual neediness.

I don't know how that affects me now, but there is a fundamental NEED I have to be accepted by others that gets put into massive jeopardy when I go sarging.

So yea, I was having lots of negative thoughts about what I'm capable and not capable of, and what kind of person I am. I haven't lost state and gone negative in a long time, which is good. I used to spend all my time negative, then most, then some, and now I spend very little time being negative or getting emotionally overwhelmed by frustrating situations. But it made today really bad, and I kind of spiralled.

I know all my internal problems relating to this would be FIXED EVENTUALLY if I just ALWAYS approached girls I was attracted to, because eventually I would start succeeding and having these girls in my life, and that would fix all my "deservingness" beliefs and beliefs about what kind of life I can make for myself. It's just that every day I go out and DO NOT push myself, the more a life of bitterness, loneliness and regret seems likely. I think I can see where I'm going if I continue like this. It doesn't look good. I need to change something.

I don't even really need the REAL inner game fix right now. I literally just need to program a hot girl=approach equation into my brain, and my problems will start to right themselves. I'm going to ask all my buddies in the community about how to program this into my brain. A few people come to mind who really seem to have no problem pushing themselves to approach, even when they're having trouble: Doc, Saffron, Entropy, Smallville, Bravado. No surprise that they are some of the best in the local lair. I feel like a retard asking these guys for help, but I feel even more like a retard thinking that I shouldn't.

Actually check that. ANYBODY WHO READS THIS WHO HAS NO PROBLEM PUSHING THEMSELVES, WRITE A COMMENT/TEXT ME/EMAIL ME/CALL ME/PM ME. I will listen to anybody who has ideas on how to push myself. I have tried the 100$ thing before, and I have MUCH less of a problem doing this with friends around, because my needs for acceptance are already met by virtue of hanging with someone.