Sunday, June 22, 2008

OR: FUCK

I went out and struck out. I ended up sitting next to this hot asian girl who got really weirded out by me doing a double take when I saw her. She pretended to be asleep. I kept on psyching myself up to talk to her and never did. This is bush league.

I thought I gave myself permission to not approach girls if I didn't want to today. And yet I really let myself down. I'm going to need a two-set opener for the daytime, because I'm tired of seeing hot girls walk past me and me not giving myself permission to talk to them.

It's funny, talking to a stranger isn't a big deal. Today, I wondered how I could have survived in this world from infancy if I'm not even strong enough to talk to some random girl(s).

It's all about the momentum. The first set is always the hardest, and it needs to be done as soon and as mindlessly as possible.

Not to compound the problem, but there is still the looming issues of undeservingness and needing them to like (validate) me when I open. Those will go away if I open a fuck-ton of girls. Opening a fuck-ton of girls is really hard.

I really want to turn this around.

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