FR

I went out at 5 to do the Brad P. challenge. I walked around and within an hour had completed half, which is 2x slower than "allowed" by him. Anyway, I then walked around trying to open fembots. I opened one or two. Then I ran into three PUAs and rolled with Brahmin for a bit. I grabbed digi's off of a Korean fembot HB6. I opened a girl only to realize she worked the information desk. I continued to run a stifled game, which was bad, and I ejected before I ruined my plaza dealie. Whatever.

I came back, invited over my former FB and she just wasn't having it. I ran perhaps the tightest LMR shit ever (superhard caveman) but she just wouldn't give it up. We've fucked before. What the hell? She's a weird girl, and I still can't figure it out. I froze her out, I changed her mood, I probed to see if something was wrong in her life, nothing. Boring. I tried to kick her out, but she kept on stalling, not wanting to leave. What a weirdo.

OR

OK. That didn't work.

My problem is that I'm too stifled. I'm going to DO the "social freedom exercises" of Brad P. I might even try to bark like a dog on the T. Whatever.
The exercises are, in order:
1. Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible.
2. Ask a stranger what time it is.
3. Ask a stranger for directions.
4. Ask for directions then make small talk for 30 seconds.
5. Small talk with a store clerk for 2 minutes.
6. Last 3 minutes with a rapport seeker (homeless person, environment-saver, etc.) without giving into their demands.
7. Small talk with a store clerk even as the next customer is getting rung up.
8. Tell a joke in front of people I know.
9. Dance a little in a public place.
10. Walk down the street while singing or rapping.
11. Start a conversation with a stranger and make that person laugh.
12. Butt into a conversation, as if I've been part of it the whole time.
13. Dance FULL OUT in a public place (Billy Elliot)
14. Recall an embarassing moment in front of a safe group.
15. Recall an embarassing moment in a 1-on-1 with a stranger.
16. Tell a joke in front of a group of strangers.
17. Moonwalk in a circle in front of strangers.
18. Tell a stranger a deep, dark secret.

OR: Day game

I went out, chatted one HB6 asian briefly. That's not great. I saw the glass wall. There were about 10 females that I wanted to chat with that I didn't. I'm upset at myself. I'll push myself harder next time. I'll be out tomorrow as well.

I've got a part time job that is perfect for daygame. It's 1-5PM, so I have noonish game and post work game. I'll probably expand my hours to get more money, but it's a source of revenue and it's getting me out and about during the warm days in Downtown Crossing area. I will push myself HARD.

Here's my strategy. I'll start by talking to people on the train. Just a Hi or Nice weather, or even just a smile, but really put myself out there. EC holding mofo. Off the train, I'll sarge for an hour outdoors. That means circle around the Downtown Crossing area, picking off hoodrats and random attractive females. Post work, I'll buzz across the Commons to Newbury/Copley and chat up EVERY attractive set. That includes 2 sets. I'll start off 2 sets by asking for directions or the time.

JFT talk

These notes are just for my own personal use, not for reproduction, sale, etc.

JEFFY TALK
-Traditional methods of attracting women, including social circle, are largely irrelevant
-Beliefs in education, concrete goals, thinking outside the box are inherent in successful guys
-Spend time in intimidating high-class venues with intimidating high class girls, or I'm wasting my time and money
-No comfort fatties, NO SETTLING with sub-par fembots
-Most females don't hvae the cojones to pull females like Jeffy's Chessclub
-Most experts were pushed beyond the line, and ended up caring about nothing besides pickup
-"Be divorced from outcome"
-3 Elements to rapport:
>Shared positive feelings
>Me-You communication
>Non-verbal coordination
-All it takes is one idea to turn around any situation
-"You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with"
-Social conditioning is mostly good
-Lots of stuff that is talked about in "Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-term Fulfilment" by George Leonard.
-Write FRs, study them later, and find where things went right and wrong in set
-Successful people make decisions and are proactive
-"Excuse me, what is your deepest fantasy?" in creepy Wizard/David Bowie voice
-Burn your boats a la Trojan War
-"Nothing to lose, everything to gain"
-Turn negatives into positive
-Shit test response:
>Fake DLV with tears-verging
>"If by X you mean Y"
-The bigger the test, the more attraction that can be built
-Sparkle face girl = She wants to fuck
-Voice tips:
>Thrashing voice = wrong
>Diaphragmatic speaking
>Don't constrict BL, relax it to get moar power
>Use the head and mouth as a megaphone
>Don't let it go up to nasal voice, as that hurts the voice
-"glass wall" is created by ourselves.

Goals

I had a bad night tonight. I approached very few sets, was full of self-doubt, acted fairly chodely and dependant, and really didn't make the best of a very cool situation.

Things to improve:
Momentum. Talk to girls immediately. Don't walk past them, EVER.
Chill out more. Less jerky movements.
Don't look down.

It's sickening at a gut level when I reflect on where I am and where I could be if I had a clear vision and balls to get there. I could be at then end of the path to getting better with women. I could be making a healthy living (100k$). I could be taking care of my body, my mind, and my circumstances. It's easy to get overwhelmed at the failure to meet my human potential.

Even though I am currently at a place beyond threshold (the threshold of acceptable living), it's not causing me the pain/motivation it should to live in this state. Whatever.

I got to see Mayson run some great game, which was fun to see and hear. I was impressed with the quality of women at this location, which I thought was wilderness. Hopefully, tonight helped me clarify my vision and strengthen my resolve to do this shit right.

Communication

This is kind of borderline. Let me ping this off my readers: is this stupid, KJ, wrong, accurate, or already covered?

Humans are always communicating. They are communicating physically, or they are communicating verbally, or both, at all times.

Humans communicate for the sake of communication. They get enjoyment out of socializing because of the emotions they get, the pinging of their reality off of other people, and the potentially useful things they can learn.

Verbal communication is simply whatever comes out of your mouth (or whatever does not come out of your mouth). Physical communication is kino, sex, proximity, body language, etc. (or the absence thereof).

In modern society the average guy doesn't communicate with physicality, especially kinaeshetic communications, as much as verbal modes. Cavemen, in contrast, communicate almost exclusively with physicality.

I think a proper sarge is a happy medium, where you are fully communicating through how you move your body, how you touch her body, and what you are saying. Through these modes of communication, a woman can somewhat ping where you are (mentality, worldview, social status, confidence, authenticity). Quite simply, if you're bringing 100% of your communication to bear, and it's communicating good things, then it's perhaps the most authentic/attractive form of interaction possible.

Not using all of these methods of communication is suspicious. To speak, but not touch, is essentially as unusual as moving and touching, but not talking. It's strange and unnatural. Physical withholding of sex is a break in physical rapport, requiring more verbal rapport (sometimes). Verbal withholding of sex is a break in verbal rapport, sometimes requiring more physical rapport. (This theory is somewhat supported by my own experiences, but it seems to just make sense to me on an emotional level.)

Even as I type this, I think of how I would use this to EFA(early frame announcement) a female by projecting a normalcy onto physical communciation- literally quoting what I've written so far, especially the withholding of communication as suspicious and bizarre.

Clothes

I am vaguely interestd in starting up a clothes company. I would like to take the physical traits of virility and attractiveness and base a clothing line around that. That is to say, a shirt that emphasizes the V of the lats, the width of the shoulders, and the pectorals. Or pants that emphasize a thin waist and lengthy (appearing)legs. Basically, I want to create a quality line of clothing that flatters your body as much as possible.

Out of head line

So here's a nonsense line that will help me get out of my head, if I ever get in there. Direct from 30 Rock:

"Excuse me, where is the manager? I'm from the government and I'm here to inspect a chicken nugget!"

Thought

One thing that's always kind of struck me as odd and amusing is the concept of a SNL. Or more accurately, someone who seeks out the SNL. Just because of my narrow viewpoint, mind you. I find it strange that people go out every weekend looking for a one night stand, or that people will just jump quickly from one person to another to satisfy the chemicals in their brain.

There's nothing wrong with doing it, but to me it just makes less sense. Going out every weekend talking to girls is all right to me, because there is a long-term goal that aligns to my values (specifically starting a family with a woman I fully love and secondarily being with a girl who shares a similar worldview and can satisfy my needs, emotional, physical, etc.). That goal is to become sociable and to become better interacting with chicks, so that I can end up with girls that I truly want and appreciate. But if I didn't have that in mind, would I be going out? No f-in way.

But more to the point. I find it amusing in a human failing-kind-of-way how on tv and movies and in real life to an extent people are just jumping into whatever bed is most convenient to them to get relief from their sexual urges, like a dialysis machine for a bad liver. I don't personally have the feeling like the juice is always on and I must be with a girl. Obviously, I don't need a girl for validation (a la being a man), but I don't NEED to have my sexual urges fulfilled by a girl either. It's nice, but I'm fine without it, for a while.

I don't know if that's disdain for my own urges, an acceptance of the possibility of being alone, maturation, or spending too much time huddled in my house writing resumes, procrastinating and porning.

This kind of gets into some of my sexual hang-ups, which I DEFINITELY have, and will probably get into at some point on this blog, but not now.

The man that I am becoming

(crossposted from my life development blog)

The man that I want to be respects himself and equally respects others. That means accepting, loving and even forgiving where I come from, and doing the same for other people. I bring myself 100% to the table without fear, resentment, or self-hatred. That means communicating my hopes, worries, sexuality, worldview, sense of humor, and even some of my weirdness to others without fear of reprisal or rejection. As a man, I also will not seek validation or approval from anyone other than myself. The world I envision and am creating is the only one that exists.

The man that I want to be wants to make the world a better place for himself and for others, by taking care of it and improving it drastically in some way. This also means taking action to improve my own life as much as possible. I eventually want to bring up a family in this world with the most love, encouragement and security I can provide.

The man that I want to be knows what he values, and will act based on those beliefs regardless of what is convenient or emotionally easy. I will be aware of the responsibility that lies on me as a human being and man in this day and age. I will always move towards my long-terms goals and beliefs, with little concern for judgement, popularity, satisfying others' value system first, or emotional state. When I want something, I will go for it 100%, until I get it, or fail AND learn from my failure.

Finally, the man that I want to be is going to bone a shitload of hot indian chicks. That's half-joking.

NOTES and stuff from the Inner Game Panel

-I can't be obnoxious. I haven't given myself permission or freedom enough to do it. Get to a place where I CAN be obnoxious, then choose not to.
-Inner game is wanting the best for yourself, and inspiring others to want the best for themselves.
-Come from a place of singular purpose, and don't be distracted from it by worries, state, or logistics.
-If I feel not good enough for a fembot, then do a checklist of what might be 'devaluing' me, and go thru it. This will expose inner game issues, as well as probably reaffirm that I am good enough if I do it based on reality and not emotions.
-Law of 3: You can only handle 3 'projects' at a time, otherwise you are spreading yourself too thin or selling yourself short.
-Being a man means having a vision of future, ideals, etc.
-Spirit's dad couldn't walk- how dare you NOT walk over to females?
-Find inner spiritual core, which provides all the resources and energy that powers you.
-Eliminate sources of stifling your inner core (fear, resentment, painbody, messed up behavior (sexual as an example). If you don't unstifle yourself, you're not coming through to other people 100%
-Do service to others for yourself and your relationship to God/Universe/Infinite Intelligence, not for other peopl.

BEING A MAN:
DICKNOTIST:
-Knowing your core values, and doing the right thing (RIGHT ACTION) regardless of desire or convenience
-Take care of family and friends
SMALLVILLE:
-"Being on your vector" - Be as closely aligned to the direction you're seeking out as possible, or you're selling yourself short.
-Trend upwards - constant improvement
-Momentum, regardless of current situation/state, is what powers you.
GROOVE:
-Respect your environment and yourself
-Be honest about who or where you are
CHAMPAGNE:
-Pursuing values w/o shame
-S.A.M.:
>Sexuality - Being comfortable with, and expressive of, sexuality
>Alpha Male - Value giver, comfortable in own skin, emotional expression, etc. Externals that are used to channel your inner self.
>Mystique/Masculine Polarity - Don't give away your masculine power
-"Love + Forgiveness = Freedom"
-Love is important to being a man
-Risk taking
-SPIRIT:
-Accountability- Don't put up with, or get angry, about a life situation. Take responsibility for where you are and who you are.
-Ask for help, rely on others, have them rely on you.

I got the Blues

I'm broke. I'm forcibly taking another hiatus until I can literally afford train or parking fare. Ugh. I'm eating Kraft Mac & Cheese and cereal all the time. I'm rarely leaving my house, except for job-related reasons and practicing skateboard. I'm living on life support right now.

Ah well, nowhere to go but up.

Says it all

My dick cost a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick- bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kid's
My dick- large like the Chargers, the whole team
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick- locked in a cage, right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick- so hot, it's stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick- pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a Caesar do,
Your dick needs a tweezer, dude

My dick is like super size
Your dick look like two fries
My dick- more mass than the Earth
Your dick- half staff, it needs work

My dick- been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick- V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus
x2

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole lunch-in
Your dick- it look like a munchkin

My dick- size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick- good good lovin'
Your dick- good for nothin'

My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
My dick- pretty damn skimpy
Your dick- hungry as a hippie

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like an M16
Your dick- broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and queefs
My dick- rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick- fruit roll-up
My dick- grade-A beef
Your dick- Mayday geek

My dick- sick and dangerous
Your dick- quick and painless
My dick- 'nuff said.
Your dick loves Fred