TO BE REVISED: The J-O-B

CURRENT JOB:
I'm curently working as an audio transcriber. It pays like 11 or 12 an hour, and I do it 4 hours a day if I'm working that day. If I work a full week (rare), I make just over 200. I can't work a full week, because I lose my mind doing this job. It's painful, and evil.

PROBLEM:
The main problem is that I simply don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life for a career. I've been temporarily interested in everything from concert pianist to hip hop producer, salesman, small business entrepreneur, and I'm sure the list WOULD continue were I not DECIDING right now to make a choice in my life and go for it.

It's becoming apparent to me that it's CRUCIAL I get a job/career that I LOVE, because I'm growing increasingly more frustrated with my work, my quality and quantity of transcription is decreasing daily, and I spend more time grinding and getting mired in my own situation. Also, I believe that my life overall is not good enough for me to be picking up women.

I know that you don't have to love your life, your job, or whatever to pick up women. One day I will subconsciously realize that (probably once I have righted this wrong). In the meantime, my frustration with the direction of my life is useful and important. I can use this frustration to build something for myself.

FAILURES:
I have tried countless times to get a fresh start, 'commit' to doing things, big and small, to amend the situation. My commitments almost always fail, and my starts are unerringly stale every time. I feel like a sucker. I never stop trying, yet I constantly give up when it means taking action. I would be 100X happier if I TRIED every time and simply failed, because that would mean I'm not a quitter, which is how I feel when I don't approach, don't do my work, don't fulfill some promise to myself or others, etc.

IDEAS:
I hold myself accountable only to my blogs and my thoughts. I can involve other people, even in the most simple of obligations until I am on my way. That would be best. I should include people in my life decisions, esp. my dad, with whom I'm living. That could provide some real leverage, because I really don't like being lectured or scolded by him on my obligations.

I have another post to make on my other blog. I'll come back and revise this later