Out

Haven't been out in a while. I went out with some lair guys for a little. Not a lot of stuff. I in passing chatted to a 2-set (8&9), but ejected due to nervousness. I direct opened an Albanian girl (7). We talked for maybe 10 minutes, but I was miscalibrated and nervous. She caught onto this, but I also had a spark of intent going on, so it wasn't as weird as it could have been. After we finished talking, I referred to her as a crazy Albanian girl, but in reality, she was *somewhat* normal. It was mostly just a way to avoid owning the interaction I had with her, which honestly wasn't that bad. Whatever. Didn't hurt that she had given me clear AI before I started talking to her.

Felt good to be out talking to girls, even though I was just weird about it. I can tell after two days out, I would be COMPLETELY back in the flow.

Whatever. I still hate night game, and although I think the guys who run it are nice guys, I don't like the talent that comes out to the Almost Famous scene. To be honest, there are always a few REALLY good looking girls that show up, and that's great, especially tonight, but there were also some really horrible people (not just lair people lol).

A mediocre night. I talked about PU stuff to a guy who was thinking about joining the lair, and that wasn't too fun.

I want to hit up some daygame soon. I wish the good weather was back. There's nothing stopping me really, seeing as most/all of my days are free (except for weekends). If I so desired, I could spend all my time trying to get a girlfriend.

I realized that there are nightlife things I do enjoy. For instance, there's a drum and bass night every Thursday at the Phoenix Landing @ Central. I want to check that out. It's also fun to go to trivia nights. It's great to hang out with a small group of friends, and really not actively think about picking up girls unless there's a really striking female.

IN FACT, going out to pick up girls exclusively isn't that fun at all. If anything it's a fun-sucking event. If you're not having fun when you start, then it's just a total headsuck.

out

I opened a fob no dice.

I went into American Apparel to try and redeem my gift card and this hired gun started chatting to me. I honestly couldn't tell if she was into me or just being ultra-friendly/hired-friendly. I don't think they get commissions there, so...

she was talking about growing up, her friends, her passions. It was an intense casual conversation, similar to a sarge, except sometimes she would be mirroring my body language and sometimes she would kind of back off. It looked a lot like she was into me, but I didn't go for the phone number because it didn't feel appropriate. I should have, she had nice boobies. She had this weird spiral burn in her hand, like a scar, but almost certainly made on purpose. Cool.

Resolution

I resolved to do 750 sets this year. That amounts to about 2 sets per day, every day. That means that I will have to spend quite a bit of time in field this year. That's fine.

I also want to give back to the lair, because I haven't done much for them. We'll see how later. I might do a daygame thing while I'm jobless or something like that.

All that and a bag of chips

As much as PUAs want to think that they can engineer every situation to their benefit, I am seeing more and more that external factors are often extremely important in garnering lays. Things such as holidays, stress from life, post-breakup blues, and all kinds of normal human moments of 'needing' can contribute to whether a girl will hook up with me.

Often, just showing up and being normal is all that's required, which is really nothing to sneer at. Granted, the lifestyle I want calls for something far beyond that, but it's good to know that not a lot of gaming needs to take place if certain external factors are in effect.

A friend of a friend of my sister that I hooked up with turned out to have just broken up with her boyfriend, and I was just sure that it was my charmingness that made it happen. The circumstances were that she was drinking, around a lot of people she didn't know that well, post-breakup, and I was providing her with emotions and sexual options. I want to get to a place where it can just be me gaming her to the point where she can make a logical decision to go home with me, or an emotional rationalization to check out something at my house and 'then i'll kick her out' or whatever.

As long as I have a shred of neediness in my body, as long as I'm not 100% sure of my ability to attract, comfort, fuck, and date a beautiful woman, the NEED for a woman in my life will always be the emotionally sticky, self-esteem-changing thing that it has been for the rest of my life.

I realized lately that I can bone girls. I realized that I'm a normal guy and can pull when certain moons align. What I also realized is that I can really multiply that effectiveness if I study PU. I was studying PU to become normal, which was putting the cart before the horse.

i don't need to study PU to feel normal or socially acceptable. I now want to study PU for the truer reason of desiring poon and getting laid and getting trim. I don't want to study PU to have people like me or to be interesting or normal. That's done with, I'm there. I see now how certain guys got to the point of getting really good at PU. First they had to be normalized, which is something I think I've experienced. UGH

lesson learned

when i drink, it becomes incredibly difficult to:
-keep it up
-come
-focus on the female

if i'm sober, and i can see what's going on (i'm super visual during sex), then no problem. if i'm drunk, then it's going to require herculean efforts to finish up. i see the pattern now, and I'm going to avoid drinking when i believe a female is coming through, and not worry when i don't think a female is coming through.

respect.

Pahty

Hit up a party. Alcohol + women + me = flirt zone. I was doing great last night. Attracted the girl I wanted, but had logistical problems get in the way. Should have grabbed her number, but I hadn't qualified her enough. Also chatted with her friend and got her semi-attracted, as well. The main difference between sober and drunk me is that I keep talking when I'm drunk.

going out

Went out. Saw maybe 5 girls alone that were cute. Tried to open one, but I let her get away. I opened another but she walked away (headphones, but I think she noticed me), and didn't open the rest. There were absurd amounts of hot girls with friends, but groups still weird me out, and I have no idea how to make that happen. It's something I'm not used to.

I got annoyed at the BL forums getting clogged with off-topic posts about articles and cute videos, but people don't like it when I say that it's off-topic, so whatever. I'm not Warwick, or even a deputy moderator, so it's not my place. I guess I was just annoyed that we have an established off-topic forum and it never gets used, but valuable posts are being swarmed by stuff that I don't think is particularly helpful. Boobies. I think I should steer clear of BL until I have something useful and SPECIFIC to offer, because I have no real business being there and spending my time reading posts, etc.

Going out tomorrow.

I got a haircut today, and it's totally generic, not at all interesting. I'm starting to question the awesomeness of Ojee's.

I'll be attending the Saturday even where Entropy will be speaking. I'm looking forward to hearing him talk. It's on post-lay stuff, which isn't relevant to my life, but I'd like to hear, learn anyway, and support.

Haven't been going out much, or doing much.

LR: Drunk

Hooked up with hot black chick (7.5), but couldn't get it up when it came to penetrating, even after she Beejed me. Very nice girl, too bad I couldn't f her brains out.

My game was commanding the interactions, being very funny, having one or two similarities, and a little bit of push pull. She was also kind of drunk. I had been drinking too, but I don't really think that contributed to the dick problem. I just couldn't get it up, and started to have some really negative feelings, but I cancelled those out, and ended up feeling neutral about it. It happens.

Whatever.

The next day was very awkward for me.

Incidentally, I had sabotaged my HMO-less streak, so it had been one day. I don't know what that means, but it may have affected my performance.

I think it played it as best I could, you know, not taking myself too seriously, thinking just about how good her body felt, relaxing as much as possible. No dice.

Anti-onanistic Observation

Not jerking it helps SO MUCH for approach anxiety, desire, normalization of behavior. After 5 days of restriction, I went out today, and had almost no anxiety. I'm going to regulate it to every 5 days or maybe 7 if that increases my aggression. I even sent in a job application to a local temporary staffing group.

Is withholding masturbating my salvation?

I will just count off the days. Unlike pretty much everything else in my life, I won't need charts or graphs or checklists or calendars to keep track of it, because I feel every day going past.

Being fearless when talking to girls is such a wonderful payoff for the resistance of my habits and urges.

Today is Day 1. Saturday will be Day 6. I will withhold until I feel a decrease in aggression, and then scale it back to the zenith.

minor note

daygame approached a korean 6. she didn't speak much english, but was clearly trying very hard to blow me off. first daygame approach for real in about a month or two.

Update

Apparently, some of my friends (community) read this blog from time to time, so time to throw up something.

Fact is, I've been much more focused on things outside of women. I don't have the lifestyle to have/enjoy a lot of women in my life right now (jobless and living in quincy with my dad doesn't do it for me). I've been more focused on what I will do for money, focused on silly trivial pursuits, and focused on distracting but somewhat useful things (working out, yoga, cleaning the house, etc.). I haven't been out talking to girls in a while, and I suspect that once I start doing it regularly again, I will be massively rusty.

In other news, I put on a tuxedo and bow tie, along with my suit, and I make a sweet James Bond, and I will wear that James Bond outfit to Philadelphia for the opening day of the new James Bond movie with my awesome sister. Then we will apparently go on a 7-hour meditation retreat? Whatever.

AWESOME

Funniest thing ever:
Last 60 seconds of the episode "Mac bangs Dennis's Mom" from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Update

Haven't been going out. No other significant updates.

Interracial marriage

Quotes from Wikipedia
"By 2006, 41 percent of Asian American-born women were registered as having Caucasian husbands, while 50 percent were married to Asian American men."
"In the 2000 census... 95,831 Caucasian American male to African American female marriages were recorded..."
Other conclusions:
-There may be a trend between greater education and less endogamy.
-People date are more likely to date outside of their race than to marry outside of it.

Point being: THIS SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!